Signs of Medical Gaslighting

by Sandee Rodriguez | Jul 18, 2022 | Invisible Warriors

What are the Signs of ‘Medical Gaslighting’?

Have you ever experienced any of these signs of medical gaslighting?

your provider continually interrupts you, won’t let you elaborate, and doesn’t seem to be an engaged listener
the provider minimizes or downplays your symptoms, like questioning whether you have pain, or refuses to discuss your symptoms
the provider won’t order imaging or labwork to rule out or confirm a diagnosis
you feel the provider is rude, condescending, or belittling
your symptoms are blamed on mental illness, but you are neither given a mental health referral nor screened for such illness

For those of us who live daily with invisible diseases and disabilities, finding providers who will truly listen to and investigate the causes of our pains and problems can be difficult. It seems to be much easier for them to have their staff ask a few questions, note the answers in the computer, spend five minutes with the patient, and then give a hasty diagnosis so they can see more patients each day. This is not OK.

What’s the Alternative?

A good, caring provider listens carefully to what the patient has to say and evaluates the symptoms against known illnesses to work towards improving the patient’s health. When pain is involved, this is especially important because living with pain should not be the medical answer. Being accused of making up the problem is not a great answer either (this happened!). The goal should be getting to the root cause. Then there’s hope of relief. Only good providers offer that kind of hope.

And they are out there. It takes time find them, yes, but it’s worth it. Pro tip: Interview any prospective doctors who might be able to help you before getting started with them. If you see signs of medical gaslighting, that’s a red flag that this provider is probably not the best fit for you and you need to keep looking.

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Signs of Medical Gaslighting

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Off to See the Wizard…

by Sandee Rodriguez | Jul 18, 2022 | Invisible Warriors

Off to See the Wizard – and Feel Better

It was a strange sensation – one of hope and excitement, yet mixed with dread and negativity at the same time when I was off to see the Wizard. That’s how I was feeling the day I made a pilgrimage to Nashville, TN, to see a world-renowned doctor of orthopedics. It was kind of like in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and her friends take the long trek to Emerald City to see the Wizard, yet had to go through so many trials and scary witchy encounters along the way.

Starting out, I was packed early. We even left a day ahead of the appointment for the 2.5 hour drive because I didn’t want to be late for a 9 am appointment with the “Wiz”. All went well. The hotel was fantastic (it’s going on my list of “They Get It” 4-star hotels for creating a disability-friendly hotel). Live music played in the restaurant, and I even got to sit and talk with a Grand Ole Opry singer who, at 90 years old, just wants his most famous song “Tripod the Three-Legged Dog” heard by as many people as possible. Guess what? He generously donated the song for Invisible Entrepreneurs’ anthem! Can you beat that?

Things Change Fast

So all was great when we got to Nashville. But boy, did things change fast! Up and out of our hotel over an hour ahead of the appointment, we checked into the doctor’s office 30 minutes ahead of time. We were told, “you’re good to go,” so we went and sat in the designated waiting area. And we sat, and we sat. Half an hour went by, and then another half an hour.

Finally, I got fed up and went to see what the hold-up was all about. To my shock, the front desk staff at the doctor’s office told us we were checking in an hour late and would have to reschedule.  What?????? We had been there and checked in for over an hour. Someone definitely had goofed up – but it wasn’t us. Again, like in the Wizard of Oz, we had to let our anger be known to get the appointment with the great wizard of Vanderbilt Hospital. When we finally did get led behind the curtain, she was not this awe-inspiring wiz, but just a person who was not happy to have had to come back after she was leaving (at 9:30 in the morning? Huh?).

But the hope came back. I just knew she was going to listen and tell me that this and that was wrong and she could fix it, making me all better. Sadly, she looked at me and commented, “You’re a very complex case. Go away. I’m sending you to St. Louis. If that doctor will see you there.”

I stuttered and stumbled, “But that’s a long way away.”

“It’s only 4 hours,” she said. Maybe from Nashville but from Huntsville? More like 8 hours!

And my husband was getting ready for heart surgery with a 2+ month recovery time. And I HURT!!!! So much disappointment, frustration, and disbelief that a doctor could be so cold and uncaring! She literally shrugged her shoulders and said, “Oh well. It’s your choice.”

What a Wiz She Wasn’t

Back home in the car we trudged. No longer the yellow brick road off to see the wizard, but instead, we traveled a dark, dirty, asphalt, gray highway. Cars whizzing everywhere, somewhat reminiscent of the flying monkeys. And while I wish I could say there’s no place like home, even though I was ever so happy to be back in my own little protective castle, it still left me feeling alone, uncared about, and in a great deal of pain.  

What I want to share though, after all this is this – the sun WILL come out tomorrow (changing movies here to Annie). It’s another day with thousands of chances for good things to happen, and finding that hope and excitement can be real. I am not giving up, and even if you’ve had experiences and feelings like this in your life, you must not give up either.

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