Are You Invisible?

Are You Invisible?

Becoming Visible – the Invisible Warrior!

Are you invisible? 

If you live with chronic pain for whatever reason, and life seems to be fighting against you every step of the way, then you may be invisible. Being invisible means no one is there to help, support, and aid you because no one sees you. And no one sees your pain.

Millions of people live their invisible lives; millions of people live with chronic pain and disabilities. Many are discriminated against in ways with which you might not be familiar. Even though (Federal and State, USA) laws are there to protect those with disabilities, certain industries do not comply with such rules. Even worse, people discriminate against other people.

On Becoming Visible 

If you were to have a conversation with Nancy Becher, your heart would melt.

Talk with anyone with chronic pain, and they will tell you a story. Depending on how the individual copes with the pain daily, that story can have different endings. Most of the time, you will learn three things: when it all started, the complications that resulted, and the multitude of medical professionals who got involved. If you dig a bit deeper, you may also learn that doctors – i.e., medical professionals – may not always believe you.

You read that correctly – medical professionals may not believe your story.

Today, I will tell you about one such story.

Meet Nancy Becher

Nancy and I engage on LinkedIn regularly. As with most things, engagement was slow in the beginning. But I understood Nancy’s passion for others. I connected with her mission – let’s get the word out about those who suffer chronic pain. These people are often overlooked by medical professionals, especially when the source of the pain cannot be easily or readily identified.

Yes, there is an origin story. There is always a Genesis. There is always a point in history where we can say, “yes!” This is when it all started. But chronic pain? Can pain last beyond the healing? These are good questions. However, I do not know the answers. I only know the stories that people tell me.

This is One of Those Stories

“Hello, Nancy,” the doctor said. “What brings you in today?”

Nancy sits in her wheelchair in the doctor’s office. This is a new referral. This is the first meeting between Nancy and the medical professional. Due to struggles with insurance providers, Nancy faces the continual challenge of receiving the appropriate medical care for her needs.

“Doc,” Nancy begins. “I’m in pain.”

Nancy, once again, offers the medical professional a brief backstory and then tells him, “I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.”

“You’re lying,” the medical professional follows, “I have never heard of such a thing.”

People, such as Nancy Becher, who live with chronic pain face significant life challenges. Besides the internal struggles they face each day – literally wanting to get up and out of bed knowing that this day will be difficult to cope with emotionally, psychologically, and physically – people with invisible illnesses face socio-economic and other real-life struggles.

Looking back at the conversation with her doctor, how insulted would you feel if your medical professional told you that you were lying about your illness or condition? Surely, the conversation would go south from there. No need to explain the symptoms or problems. You first have to convince the doctor that you’re telling the truth.

Doctor, Meet Google

Let’s set the facts straight.

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is “a chronic condition that causes long-lasting pain. Normally, pain is short-term and resolves as the body heals. But with this condition, pain doesn’t fade with time. Instead, ongoing pain might get worse instead of better as days and weeks pass.” ~ Hopkins Medicine

People with chronic pain and invisible illnesses embrace stigma, financial challenges, loneliness and isolation, and even suicidal thoughts and ideations on a regular basis. This is not quite the incentive you want to have waking up every morning.

Nancy’s Story

Nancy Becher is the founder of Invisible Warriors, a nonprofit organization focused on providing support and guidance for those who suffer from invisible illnesses. Additionally, she is on a mission to change the stigma associated with illness and disability. With the right support from her community, she also wants to change the way our (USA) federal government creates policies that help people with disabilities.

Nancy has a Master of Science degree in Counseling. Additionally, she is working toward her doctorate in Sociology. In 2022, she studied with Ministry with Disabilities. She is currently working toward her certification. She continues to exemplify the true nature of a life-long learner.

Her Life Changed in 2014

Picking up her parents from a senior center potluck dinner, Nancy was hit by a driver at the event. When the two cars collided, she was knocked from her vehicle, landing in a drainage ditch. Her body was twisted from the impact. As the ambulance came, Nancy could do nothing but writhe in pain and hope for the best. The best never came. No doctor could pinpoint any severe injuries aside from the cuts and scrapes associated with the impact on the ground. It took multiple doctors and many months before a medical professional had the insight to scan her body using an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging).

Nancy was diagnosed with torn tendons, ligaments, and broken bones. This was five to six months after the fact, and by then, the permanent damage to her body had been done.

With surgery, some of the physical injuries were amended, but the pain continued. Eventually, a doctor diagnosed her with ‘Complex Regional Pain Syndrome’ from the prolonged nerve damage over those many months without proper medical care.

Often called the ‘suicide’ disorder, Nancy now faced new problems. How would she exist? What would she do now? How would she cope with the pain? What would prevent her from taking her own life?

Nancy was Determined to Live!

Since then, Nancy has undergone 16 surgeries and two spinal stimulators. She has met with countless medical professionals to find a way to deal with the pain. At this time, there is no solution. But there is hope.

Nancy organized and created Invisible Warriors, a 501c3 non-profit, to help others who are going through similar mental and physical journeys. It is her passion to support others while making it her mission to dialogue with medical professionals. Additionally, she continues to lobby for changes in the insurance, pharmaceutical, and travel industries so that women with hidden chronic and autoimmune disorders can begin to feel that they are not alone.

You are NOT invisible.

Thank you for reading!

Guest post by Dr. Keith McNally

Get involved! Click HERE to get started.

Are you looking for support?

Invisible Warriors is here to help! Check out our growing list of resources by clicking the button below.

Are You Invisible?

Invisible Warriors

Chronic Illnesses Can Be Disabling

Chronic Illnesses Can Be Disabling

I’m so tired. I feel like I’m walking around in a deep London fog. My legs are heavy and hurt if I move them. I think I should probably just stay in bed. But, wait. I hear the kids chiming in that they’re hungry. My husband keeps opening the bedroom door to see if I’m awake and getting up anytime soon. The phone alarm is going off telling me someone is trying to text me or that I have an appointment coming up. I guess I need to get going.

Ever felt like that? Do you tell yourself you’re being lazy or find yourself wondering what’s wrong? Things like that never used to be a problem. But chronic illnesses can be disabling.

It gets to a point where you finally decide to call the doctor. You can’t go on with the pain, the exhaustion, the body parts not working the way they should. You need to know what’s happening. So, you pick up the phone, make an appointment, and eventually get in to see the doctor. Yet more than likely, the doctor tells you s/he needs tests, x-rays, blood work, or worse, that you’ll be just fine – go home and rest a few days and you’ll be all better.

But that doesn’t happen. The tests often show nothing, and the doctor writes on your chart things like, “patient needs to lose weight,” or “patient is exaggerating symptoms,” or … on and on.

I get it. I’ve been there.

Five months and six doctors after a hit and run car accident, I finally got a diagnosis of broken bones plus torn ligaments and tendons. They immediately (finally) decide they need to operate to repair those injuries, leaving me with more pain,  only to later tell me, “Oops, you now have something called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, sometimes called RSD.”

A 2018 article by Johnson and Johnson talks about someone that could very well have been me, but wasn’t. However, the story fits. She was in a car accident and developed reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), a rare disorder marked by severe pain. It took 43 doctors and three years before she was properly diagnosed. By that time, she was so debilitated that taking a shower felt like “a million sharp needles” on her body, and she was sleeping more than 20 hours a day.

What is a chronic disability?

Complex regional pain syndrome is just one of hundreds of chronic disabilities. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) defines chronic illness as: conditions that last one year or more and require ongoing medical attention or limit activities of daily living or both. Based on this definition, it’s clear that invisible chronic illnesses can be disabling.

Yet, because many of these disabilities are hidden, too many people don’t believe they exist. They don’t understand them, and they feel afraid that they may wind up getting something (is it contagious?). So, the topic is often taboo and as a consequence, when people do find themselves in a situation where their health limits their lives, they either ignore it or succumb to the mental challenges that are also inherent.

Pain is one of the major components of most of these disorders and pain wears down a person’s mental stamina. Recent statistics (Orlando Health) have stated that having a chronic disability increases the chance of attempted suicide by over 363%. The cycle goes like this (especially for women):

  1. Find yourself with a chronic disability
  2. Lose your job
  3. Lose your income and insurance
  4. Lose your spouse or significant other (because they no longer have the spouse they used to have)
  5. Become homeless
  6. Sink into depression and often drugs
  7. Attempt suicide

We must stop this cycle.

It’s going to take a lot of education, training, and uplifting of the people with the disabilities. It will take people believing in them, and doctors trying to find the answer, not just saying to live with it, that  it will go away. It will take the community that should best understand disabilities to stop saying invisible illnesses and disabilities are not part of the disability world. They need to acknowledge that chronic illnesses, especially invisible ones, can be disabling. And so much more.

Will you join us and support the process? Help the invisible warriors get out into the battle and win the war.

Contact us HERE. Or support our 501(c)3 with a donation HERE.

Are you looking for support?

Invisible Warriors is here to help! Check out our growing list of resources by clicking the button below.

Chronic Illnesses Can Be Disabling

Invisible Warriors

Art Contest Winners!

Art Contest Winners!

Art Contest Winners!

Invisible Warriors first wants to thank our Art Contest winners. Thank you for participating and for your generous support – we truly appreciate it!

And the winner is…

Shaniah Commack! Her picture is titled Cloudy Memories. Shaniah says about her artwork, “I created this drawing with the mindset of creating a picture depicting someone with dementia. I wanted it to be a representation of everyone instead of just one gender, race, or ethnicity.”

Art Contest Winners!

Our runner up is…

Victoria Desenberg! Her picture is titled Exclusion. She says about her submission, “I have often feared being left behind or left out. Unfortunately, it is a reality I have faced for years. However, I continue to reach toward the outward unknown; longing for acceptance and inclusion.”

Art Contest Winners!
One thing Invisible Warriors knows is that being open and honest about our invisble illnesses and disabilities is difficutlt because we fear the backlash – the labels, the disrespect, the failed relationships. Too often we keep hidden what is really going on out of that fear. But we want you to know you do NOT have to do this alone. We’re in this club too. All the members of Invisible Warriors are either dealing with non-apparent illnesses or diseases or living with and caring for a loved one who is.

At the conclusion of this contest we want to announce that we will soon be offering the opportunity to literally “Join the Club” for a private community where we can come together in a safe space and talk and support each other. Keep watching for more details to be announced soon!

Want to know more about Invisible Warriors? Sign up for our newsletter to receive regular updates! Or click the button below to schedule a meeting with Founder Nancy Becher!

Art Contest Winners!

 Contact us HERE

Follow us on Facebook HERE

Hidden Disabilities and Mental Stress

Hidden Disabilities and Mental Stress

Hidden Disabilities and Mental Stress

I’ve been talking about the issues with hidden disabilities for some time now, but I haven’t brought up the other challenges that are present — that of mental stress.

  • Nationwide, an estimated 17.4 million adults with disabilities reported frequent mental distress.
  • Adults living below the federal poverty level report mental distress 70% more often than adults in higher-income households.
  • According to the data in 2018, the prevalence of reported mental distress among those with disabilities (32.9%) was 4.6 times that of those without disabilities (7.2%).
  • Mental distress was more commonly reported among females and persons who were unmarried; unemployed; identified as lesbian or gay, bisexual, or something else; and lived in lower-income households
  • Adults with cognitive and mobility disabilities who are approximately 9 times as likely to have frequent mental distress as are adults without disabilities. 

Increasing provider awareness of the importance of mental health screening could help improve the identification and treatment of co-occurring mental health conditions. Dealing with physical health problems is already difficult. Mental health problems too often complicate the physical problems and need to be addressed as well.

Click HERE to read the CDC article.

Reference
Cree, Robyn A., et al. “Frequent Mental Distress among Adults, by Disability Status, Disability Type, and Selected Characteristics — United States, 2018.” MMWR. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, vol. 69, no. 36, 2020, pp. 1238–1243.,

Are you looking for support?

Invisible Entrepreneurs is here to help! Check out our growing list of resources by clicking the button below.

Hidden Disabilities and Mental Stress

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Signs of Medical Gaslighting

Signs of Medical Gaslighting

What are the Signs of ‘Medical Gaslighting’?

Have you ever experienced any of these signs of medical gaslighting?

  • your provider continually interrupts you, won’t let you elaborate, and doesn’t seem to be an engaged listener
  • the provider minimizes or downplays your symptoms, like questioning whether you have pain, or refuses to discuss your symptoms
  • the provider won’t order imaging or labwork to rule out or confirm a diagnosis
  • you feel the provider is rude, condescending, or belittling
  • your symptoms are blamed on mental illness, but you are neither given a mental health referral nor screened for such illness

For those of us who live daily with invisible diseases and disabilities, finding providers who will truly listen to and investigate the causes of our pains and problems can be difficult. It seems to be much easier for them to have their staff ask a few questions, note the answers in the computer, spend five minutes with the patient, and then give a hasty diagnosis so they can see more patients each day. This is not OK.

What’s the Alternative?

A good, caring provider listens carefully to what the patient has to say and evaluates the symptoms against known illnesses to work towards improving the patient’s health. When pain is involved, this is especially important because living with pain should not be the medical answer. Being accused of making up the problem is not a great answer either (this happened!). The goal should be getting to the root cause. Then there’s hope of relief. Only good providers offer that kind of hope.

And they are out there. It takes time find them, yes, but it’s worth it. Pro tip: Interview any prospective doctors who might be able to help you before getting started with them. If you see signs of medical gaslighting, that’s a red flag that this provider is probably not the best fit for you and you need to keep looking.

Signs of Medical Gaslighting

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Invisible Entrepreneurs is here to help! Check out our growing list of resources by clicking the button below.

Signs of Medical Gaslighting

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Off to See the Wizard…

Off to See the Wizard…

Off to See the Wizard – and Feel Better

It was a strange sensation – one of hope and excitement, yet mixed with dread and negativity at the same time when I was off to see the Wizard. That’s how I was feeling the day I made a pilgrimage to Nashville, TN, to see a world-renowned doctor of orthopedics. It was kind of like in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and her friends take the long trek to Emerald City to see the Wizard, yet had to go through so many trials and scary witchy encounters along the way.

Starting out, I was packed early. We even left a day ahead of the appointment for the 2.5 hour drive because I didn’t want to be late for a 9 am appointment with the “Wiz”. All went well. The hotel was fantastic (it’s going on my list of “They Get It” 4-star hotels for creating a disability-friendly hotel). Live music played in the restaurant, and I even got to sit and talk with a Grand Ole Opry singer who, at 90 years old, just wants his most famous song “Tripod the Three-Legged Dog” heard by as many people as possible. Guess what? He generously donated the song for Invisible Entrepreneurs’ anthem! Can you beat that?

Things Change Fast

So all was great when we got to Nashville. But boy, did things change fast! Up and out of our hotel over an hour ahead of the appointment, we checked into the doctor’s office 30 minutes ahead of time. We were told, “you’re good to go,” so we went and sat in the designated waiting area. And we sat, and we sat. Half an hour went by, and then another half an hour.

Finally, I got fed up and went to see what the hold-up was all about. To my shock, the front desk staff at the doctor’s office told us we were checking in an hour late and would have to reschedule.

What?????? We had been there and checked in for over an hour. Someone definitely had goofed up – but it wasn’t us. Again, like in the Wizard of Oz, we had to let our anger be known to get the appointment with the great wizard of Vanderbilt Hospital. When we finally did get led behind the curtain, she was not this awe-inspiring wiz, but just a person who was not happy to have had to come back after she was leaving (at 9:30 in the morning? Huh?).

But the hope came back. I just knew she was going to listen and tell me that this and that was wrong and she could fix it, making me all better. Sadly, she looked at me and commented, “You’re a very complex case. Go away. I’m sending you to St. Louis. If that doctor will see you there.”

I stuttered and stumbled, “But that’s a long way away.”

“It’s only 4 hours,” she said. Maybe from Nashville but from Huntsville? More like 8 hours!

And my husband was getting ready for heart surgery with a 2+ month recovery time. And I HURT!!!! So much disappointment, frustration, and disbelief that a doctor could be so cold and uncaring! She literally shrugged her shoulders and said, “Oh well. It’s your choice.”

What a Wiz She Wasn’t

Back home in the car we trudged. No longer the yellow brick road off to see the wizard, but instead, we traveled a dark, dirty, asphalt, gray highway. Cars whizzing everywhere, somewhat reminiscent of the flying monkeys. And while I wish I could say there’s no place like home, even though I was ever so happy to be back in my own little protective castle, it still left me feeling alone, uncared about, and in a great deal of pain.



What I want to share though, after all this is this – the sun WILL come out tomorrow (changing movies here to Annie). It’s another day with thousands of chances for good things to happen, and finding that hope and excitement can be real. I am not giving up, and even if you’ve had experiences and feelings like this in your life, you must not give up either.

Are you looking for support?

Invisible Entrepreneurs is here to help! Check out our growing list of resources by clicking the button below.

Off to See the Wizard…

Invisible Entrepreneurs